Everyone Has Blonde Days

The Stress Diet 

This  diet is designed to help you cope with the stress that builds up during the day.
Instructions for Stress Diet
 

BREAKFAST:
1/2 grapefruit
1 slice whole wheat toast
8 oz. skim milk

LUNCH:
4 oz. lean broiled chicken breast
1 cup steamed spinach
1 cup herb tea
1 Oreo cookie

MID-AFTERNOON SNACK:
The rest of Oreos in the package
2 pints Rocky Road ice cream, nuts, cherries and whipped cream
1 jar hot fudge sauce

DINNER:
2 loaves garlic bread
4 cans or 1 large pitcher Coke
1 large sausage, mushroom and cheese pizza
3 Snickers bars

LATE EVENING NEWS:
Entire frozen Sara Lee cheesecake (eaten directly from freezer)
 

RULES FOR THIS DIET:

1. If you eat something and no one sees you eat it, it has no calories.
2. If you drink a diet soda with a candy bar, the diet soda cancels out the calories in the candy bar.
3. When you eat with someone else, calories don't count if you do not eat more than they do.
4. Food used for medicinal purposes NEVER counts, such as hot chocolate, brandy, toast and Sara Lee Cheesecake.
5. If you fatten up everyone else around you, then you look thinner.
6. Movie related foods do not have additional calories because they are part of the entertainment package and not part of one's personal fuel. (Examples: Milk Duds, buttered popcorn, Junior Mints, Red Hots and Tootsie Rolls.)
7. Cookie pieces contain no calories. The process of breaking causes calorie leakage.
8. Things licked off knives and spoons have no calories if you are in the process of preparing something.
9. Foods that have the same color have the same number of calories. (Examples: spinach and pistachio ice cream; mushrooms and mashed potatoes.)
10. Chocolate is a universal color and may be substituted for any other food color.
11. Anything consumed while standing has no calories. This is due to gravity and the density of the caloric mass.
12. Anything consumed from someone else's plate has no calories since the calories rightfully belong to the other person and will cling to his/her plate. (We ALL know how calories like to cling!)
 

Remember, "stressed" spelled backwards is "desserts."

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Reflections from Karan: 

The stresses of life seem to be piling up every day. I watch the housing and stock markets slide, the cost of fuel, food, and living expenses rise, and wonder if things will ever return to normal. As I travel, I find others are feeling that same kind of stress too.  Many times I try to comfort myself with the potato chips, brownies, and cheesecake. However, after I have comforted myself with all those goodies I feel stuffed and guilty (especially when my husband wants to know what happened to the whole cheesecake and the carton of Ice cream) “did we have company? He asks.
 

I find it astounding that in times of great stress, I run to the panty for some comfort food hoping it will make me feel better, instead of seeking the great Comforter who has everything I need.   I run around trying to fix everything myself, as if I have complete control. (Besides, doesn’t worry and stress makes me feel sooooo… much better, as I take two extra strength aspirins and lay in a heap on the bed.) God where are you? I would ask.

Then it occurs to me, God has not gone anywhere, he has always been right beside me and waits patiently for me to whisper His name. God wants me to bring my needs to him; and in return, he will give me the peace, faith, and love I need to face each new storm. 
 

In Philippians 4: 6-7 it says, Don’t worry about anything; instead, pray about everything. Tell God what you need, and thank Him for all he has done. If you do this, you will experience God’s peace, which is far more wonderful than human mind can understand. His peace will guard our hearts and minds as you live in Christ Jesus.
 

Now that is a prescription for stress I can rely on! ©
 

Keep smiling, Lovingly,
             

                    Karan Gleddie